Hard

You know, 5 months ago when I first said yes to this call, it seemed so easy.  It’s only a year, that’s like the blink of an eye; I’ll be in a safe region, no civil wars or militias trying to take over; I can be a single mom, people do it everyday; I’m going to a place that is not as desolate as people envision when the word ‘Africa’ is spoken.  What’s the big deal, this will be a breeze. 

And then in a recent conversation with my good friend, I found myself repeating the phrase ‘This is hard’.  In many ways, more difficult than I ever thought.  It’s been tough gaining genuine support, it’s been challenging trying to raise these kinds of funds, it’s been significantly more grueling on relationships than I would have ever imagined.  Thinking about all the things I’ll miss out on, the memories I won’t be a part of, preparing to say goodbye to the comforts of home; it’s all just HARD.  There is this innate desire deep within to stay and be comfortable and continue life as I know it.  It is almost so strong I want to call it all off, give in, surrender to this pull because it seems greater than I can resist.  And whereas I can’t even begin to explain the excitement I feel when I think about all that He is going to do, there are some days where I literally feel like someone knocked the air out of me and I can hardly breathe.

But during all of this, a line from one of my favorite movies keep replaying in my head, “The hard is what makes it great.”  They were not making a spiritual reference, but that is irrelevant.  I have found a great amount of truth in it.  The hard IS what is making it great.  The harder the struggle, the greater He comes through.  It is likely to get harder still, for I was never promised life would be easy; but if I know my God at all, I know with certainty that it only gets better from here.  And I’d rather be in the sweet spot with the lover of my soul walking through the hard, than in the easy places not living the life He made me to live.

I can here Him saying to me “Come away with Me, come away with Me, it’s never too late, it’s not too late for you.  I’ve got a plan for you, yes I’ve got a plan for you and it’s gonna be wild, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be full of Me.” (Come Away by Jesus Culture)  And He’s saying it to you too; will you let Him take you into the hard?

My Story

Most of you have already heard this a hundred times, but it donned on me that there may be some who do not know the whole story. So here it is from the beginning. Well, maybe not the VERY beginning, but you get the point!

In October of last year I felt the LORD prompting me to go on a two week mission trip to Africa. While there, I fell in love with the orphans we served and the godly ministries fighting for them. After returning home, I could not shake the draw to this place. I began fasting and praying for what God would do with this experience. Through that time He began unveiling to me His call for the next chapter of my life. His Word became so clear to me through verses like James 1:27, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world,” and Luke 14:33, “In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.” I knew then that He was asking something so much more from me. And so, in the light of who He is, there is no other response for me, except to follow Him.

“What God has promised He will accomplish – if with His help, we are willing to set aside our fears, trust Him, and by faith take some new steps.” Gary Oliver

This call is two folded. First, I will be going back to Kenya and serving in one of the orphanages I visited back in October. I will move there this July and be staying for a year. Haven of Hope (HOH) cares for over 30 orphans, ages 0-10 yrs, and is run by Mama Nellie. This is an amazing ministry and it will be my great joy to serve her and those kids in any capacity I can. In addition to helping with the day to day needs of running this orphanage, I will be doing on the ground work for the new non-profit I am a part of. Through Hope Grafted In, we will be assisting HOH in developing self sustaining sources of income. I am so honored to be a part of this process.

Secondly, when I am there I will begin the process of adopting. There are approximately 163 million orphans in the world and I can’t bear the thought any longer of not doing something about it. God has showed me that no child should be without a home because I want to live in my comfort zone. As an extension of what God has already done for me, adopting me into His forever family, He is calling me to do the same for one of these. I can’t rescue them all, but I can make a difference for one. I will not be able to adopt a child from HOH, but will instead work with a licensed Kenyan agency recommended by Nellie.

I am still in the fundraising part of this journey. He has been so faithful already and I have all of my travel and stay expenses covered. Now, I am working on raising the adoption fees, estimated to be around $10,000. This is a daunting task, but He has been faithful thus far and I know He will not fail now.

“A person who lives in faith must proceed on incomplete evidence, trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse.” Philip Yancey

This is never quite how I envisioned God would use my life. And whereas some days I am unsure if I have what it takes to walk this kind of road, I do not hesitate for one moment in the ability of my God. If He has called me to such a responsibility, I have no doubt He will walk with me every moment. I may only have enough for the moment, but I believe His grace is sufficient. Where He leads I will follow.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my story and thank you in advance for walking this road with me. For all of you who have so generously given, faithfully prayed, and lovingly supported me, I am eternally grateful. Following God’s call on my life would not be possible without you.

“Surely those who know the great passionate heart of Jehovah must deny their own loves to share in the expression of His.” Jim Elliot

Haven of Hope Update

New and exciting things are happening at Haven.  Here are a few details:

We have launched the child sponsorship program for the children and 6 of them have been picked up!  What a huge blessing this is.  That leaves 29 adorable children who would love to have a relationship with you and could use your help in paying for school fees and food.  You can get more information on that here.

Last month a celebration occurred when 5 year old Mary had relatives come for her and take her home!  We are so grateful God set her back into a family.  It is hard for Nellie to let go of these precious children that she has grown to love as her own, but this is the ultimate solution and we rejoice!

It was recently sowing time in Nakuru, and so with donated funds Haven was able to purchase some bean and maize seeds.  They have been planted and are beginning to develop.  Right now is weeding time.  The prayer is that this crop will produce enough to sell some even after they have supplied their needs.

Meet baby Jeff!  He is the newest addition at HOH.  He arrived sometime last month and was approximately a month old.  When he arrived he was very small and malnourished. Nellie has reported that in the last few weeks he has gained significant weight and is developing very well.

And last but not least, there will be another addition to the Haven family come late August.  Nellie is pregnant with her first biological child!  She is doing very well and progressing right along.  This was a hard adjustment in the beginning but she knows God is at work here and He has great plans. 

That is all for now.  Thank you for celebrating with us all that God is up to and we covet your prayers for this place.

Hope Grafted In

I get a lot of questions about how everything works between Haven of Hope and this non-profit stuff, and what my role in all of it is, so hopefully this will help explain it.

Who We Are:

Shelley at Haven

When I began this journey to Kenya, I did not do it alone.  My teammate and new friend, Shelley Brown, was right there with me.  When we had first visited Haven of Hope, my heart was immediately drawn to this place and the woman who ran it.  Upon returning, I came to realize that they had touched Shelley even more.  So when I started talking to her about what God was stirring in my heart, she said "go! and let's stand up for this place together".  God had already been showing her a glimpse of all the things He wanted to do there.  The more we talked about how she saw that and the more we talked about where God was leading me, the more we began to see this great partnership the LORD was creating.  I love how He planned long before we ever knew.  I love how He joined our lives for such a time as this.  So through our new relationship, and a friend Shelley had in her home church, the three of us began the process of setting up a non-profit organization in order to be equipped to move forward. (and by us, I mean mostly Shelley!)   Thus the birth of Hope Grafted In.  Currently a 501c3 in the state of Indiana (federal status in progress), we want to speak up for those that cannot speak for themselves.  For as God grafts hope into our hearts and lives, Hope Grafted In desires to pour out His love and hope to orphans, widows, and adopting families through financial support and encouragement. 

What We Do:

We feel the LORD is directing us to put all our resources and efforts toward Haven of Hope here in the beginning.  Shelley has worked tirelessly on developing the child sponsorship program where monthly sponsors help fund school fees, uniforms, and meals.  Discussion is under way on equipping HOH to become self sustainable through multiple avenues. We also hope to work closely to help them learn how to manage their new finances.  All while focusing on cultivating our relationships with them in order to reflect the Light of Him to this dark world.

The Future:
Obviously we will move how and when God calls us to, but the prayer is to take these models into other orphanages/ministries and begin implementing them there.  In addition, we desire to move into a position of offering adoption grants to individual families.  Ultimately our hearts long to follow Him and we are anxious to see where He leads.

If you are interested in partnering with us, you may either sponsor one of Haven's children at $35 a month, or you may make a general donation to help us with start up costs and future projects.  You may do both here, be sure to select Haven of Hope in the 'budget'.  Or you may write a check payable to Hope Grafted In and mail it to 11124 Pine Orchard Cove, Fort Wayne, IN 46845.

Hopefully that has cleared a few things up.  Thank you for supporting us in this new adventure as we seek to live out Proverbs 31:9 "Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice."  We cannot do it alone.

The Name

In October 2011, I went to Africa and saw just a few of the evil atrocities that plague this great continent.  Child prisons, extreme poverty, babies dying of malnutrition, orphans, orphans and more orphans.  For the first time in my life, the Gospel became real.  If I believed Him at ALL, my life could not remain unchanged.  My conversations had to be assessed.  How I spent my money or what I was saving it for had to be re-evaluated.  My time could no longer be spent without thought.  My thoughts, hopes, dreams and plans all needed wrecking in light of scripture.  My life was no longer my own.  I had been messed up by the very face of Jesus in the most unlikely of places.  I could not shake it.  I could not un-see these images.  I could not un-know this knowledge.  No matter how much I wash, I can still feel that red dirt on my skin going everywhere I go.  It is my responsibility to never forget, to speak and to ACT.  So, when my friend introduced me to the song “Albertine” by Brooke Fraser, it became the cry of my heart.

So let the adventure begin, and may I forever carry His dust on my feet…

James 2:26 "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead."