Hard

You know, 5 months ago when I first said yes to this call, it seemed so easy.  It’s only a year, that’s like the blink of an eye; I’ll be in a safe region, no civil wars or militias trying to take over; I can be a single mom, people do it everyday; I’m going to a place that is not as desolate as people envision when the word ‘Africa’ is spoken.  What’s the big deal, this will be a breeze. 

And then in a recent conversation with my good friend, I found myself repeating the phrase ‘This is hard’.  In many ways, more difficult than I ever thought.  It’s been tough gaining genuine support, it’s been challenging trying to raise these kinds of funds, it’s been significantly more grueling on relationships than I would have ever imagined.  Thinking about all the things I’ll miss out on, the memories I won’t be a part of, preparing to say goodbye to the comforts of home; it’s all just HARD.  There is this innate desire deep within to stay and be comfortable and continue life as I know it.  It is almost so strong I want to call it all off, give in, surrender to this pull because it seems greater than I can resist.  And whereas I can’t even begin to explain the excitement I feel when I think about all that He is going to do, there are some days where I literally feel like someone knocked the air out of me and I can hardly breathe.

But during all of this, a line from one of my favorite movies keep replaying in my head, “The hard is what makes it great.”  They were not making a spiritual reference, but that is irrelevant.  I have found a great amount of truth in it.  The hard IS what is making it great.  The harder the struggle, the greater He comes through.  It is likely to get harder still, for I was never promised life would be easy; but if I know my God at all, I know with certainty that it only gets better from here.  And I’d rather be in the sweet spot with the lover of my soul walking through the hard, than in the easy places not living the life He made me to live.

I can here Him saying to me “Come away with Me, come away with Me, it’s never too late, it’s not too late for you.  I’ve got a plan for you, yes I’ve got a plan for you and it’s gonna be wild, it’s gonna be great, it’s gonna be full of Me.” (Come Away by Jesus Culture)  And He’s saying it to you too; will you let Him take you into the hard?