Several months ago I had an encounter with a prophet at my
friend’s church. Her words to me were “Get
ready, things are going to change”. I
said ok, already thinking in my head of all the positive things that I thought
were on the horizon. Things I have
waited for and prayed for, things that would enrich my life in ways I thought
would be great. I had already sorted
that and filed it away when she took my friend aside and reiterated to her, “She
needs to be ready because everything is going to change”. My friend, being on the same page as me, said
yes we know that and then also had a quick thought of all the good things that
would be coming. Fast-forward 14 months
and this lady was right on, only not at all in the way I had envisioned. In that time I lost my job and was unemployed
for 5 months; I moved 3 times, one being to an entirely different state again; I lost friendships, ones that
felt more like family; and now, possibly the hardest change of all, I’ve lost
one of the greatest loves of my life thus far, working with HGI.
Details are not necessary here, but these are a few truths
I’ve come to know firsthand. We have a
very real spiritual enemy who is out to destroy anything he can. Especially things where the Gospel is being
lived out and the LORD’s renown is being made known. He cheats and steals and deceives and
confuses. Every one of us is prone to a
deceived heart and although we desire to walk in the Spirit of grace given to
us, we fail to do so often. This enemy
found a way to create a division that seemed impassable to the board and as a
result they asked that I step away from the organization.
It has all been an incredibly hard and painful
experience. One I never saw coming. And even though “everything is getting ready
to change” had been spoken out loud, I didn’t know to be ready for all that! How do you make that many changes and still
see straight? How do you risk engaging
in friendships again? How do you let go of a love so deep in your soul, a
passion seeded and grown by God? You
don’t. Not on your own at least, not without an abundance of God’s grace. But that is what I have encountered and He
has been so faithful to walk me through healing more each moment. Some days have been easier to trust Him and
rest in His arms than others, but He has always been right there, as an anchor
for my soul. Showering me with love and
grace and calling me to give the same. I
want to be like Abraham and believe God for the promises He’s made. The promise that He will use my life for His
glory whether I understand His ways or not.
Lord, may I not waver in unbelief but be persuaded of your power.
Romans 4:20-21
20 No unbelief made him
waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave
glory to God, 21 fully convinced that
God was able to do what he had promised.
In a continuation of everything changing, there’s always a
calm after the storm, right?! I am now
making a life in an entirely new place…again!
But I have been enjoying many sweet blessings from my loving Dad. I have this job that seems too good to be
true, I am soaking up incredible worship and teaching each week with a gospel
centered community of believers, I am doing life in close proximity with others
who desire to live their lives on mission, and I am enjoying rich new
friendships. BY HIS GRACE! I really couldn’t ask for more (though being a
bit closer to my family would have been nice L
miss them like crazy) as I wait on Him to lead me on in this journey.
Hebrews 6:19
19 We have this hope as an anchor
for the soul, firm and secure.
