Until Next Time

I have been in Africa for 5 long, hard, beautiful months and soon I will be standing back on Oklahoma soil.  What a WEIRD feeling.  Every day that I am here is difficult in some capacity, whether it is simple things like no electricity or complex things like 12 year olds impregnated by their brother's rape.  And every day I think about home and the things I miss and the things I think I want so bad when I return.  But yet every day this place settles deeper and deeper into my being and those things fade just a bit.  So even when I found out I was finally going home, the moment of elation was short and the heaviness of leaving settled in.  It's hard to picture staying but I can't imagine going either.  When people say that Africa gets inside of you, they are telling the truth.  Whether you have been here 5 months or just 5 days, it touches you.  It embeds deep within, and steals a piece of your heart forever.

Maybe part of it isn't the physical place so much as it is the spiritual place.  I have been on one of the wildest adventures of my life and I don't want it to end.  I'm not ready to have all the old distractions vying for my affection to come rushing back in and divert me from the work at hand.  Being about my Father's work is the cry of my heart.  To know Him and make Him know.  I want to live in this intimacy forver.

From about day 2 this journey has looked entirely different than anything I thought it would be.  I am partly grateful for that.  Though incredibly difficult, it made every task, every word, every moment more reflective of Him.  I can take absolutely no credit for all that He did with HGI, because it was nothing like I intended.  I cannot for a moment claim that I made any progress on adoption, because all of my plans failed, it was all Him.  None of these days were as I envisioned and because of that I have nothing to boast in.  He deserves all the glory.  He wrote and exquisite story on my heart in these months, and I fear I'll never be able  to express it or reflect it with all the splendor it deserves.  But I will have it with me forever and I'll have Africa to go with it.  So until we meet again, I will carry this dust on my feet.


For those of you sad there was no adoption update in there, I apologize but I am not at liberty to go into details.  Just know that I am in the middle of a case.  So you can rejoice with me and continue to pray.  I hope to be able to shout something to the world soon!  Thank you for your love and support. 
I am eternally grateful.

A Few Pics

I haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd throw together some pictures.  Here is a short compilation of the last couple months.  Enjoy!

I have had the joy of meeting people from all over the world and sharing some fun experiences with them.



Visiting the largest mosque in Africa

my new friends from New Zealand and England



the view from the top overlooking Kampala

celebrating Louise's bday (in the middle, from London)

enjoying Passion World Tour in Kampala

 

at the movie store

 

my friends from New Zealand visiting me in Jinja - at Lake Victoria

I have been able to see some of the natural beauty here as well.

some falls on the River Nile

rainbows over Jinja

lightening storms in Kampala

There are these ex-street boys and, well, they are incredible.



local Uganda tv program highlighting their jewelry making



celebrating Louise's b-day with them





it is a dance party everytime we go -

and there are few things in this world better

participating in their new sponsorship video - stay tuned

And of course I have enjoyed the company of these precious people.

babies home in Kampala



Canaan's kiddos in Jinja



my Ruthie



Grace



Jesse



Sangaalo babies bath time - in Jinja



Noah

 

Faith

Ethan



making keepsake gifts for sponsors

 

 

 

 

 

one of the several trips to the hospital with Noah

 

the caretakers having a moment of fun

Noah and Andrew

 

 

 Just a small bit of my time :)

I Don't Know

I have said this phrase more than any other words in the last 6 months. 

'How long will you be gone?'

 

I don't know. 

 

'What will you be doing?' 

 

I don't know. 

 

'Do you have enough money?' 

 

I don't know. 

 

'Who are you adopting?' 

 

I don't know. 

 

 'What is the process like?' 

 

 I don't know.

 

 

 

Even now, not only do I still not have the answers to these questions, I have been left with many more unanswered. 

 

'Why has this been so hard?'

 

'Did I hear You right?'

 

'Why does every door close just as I think it is opening?'

 

'Why does it make no sense?'

 

 'What are you doing God?'

 

 

So I find that my most standard answer these days is still the same: I.don't.know.  But here is just one thing that I do know...I am more in love with Him than ever before.  And somehow that makes it all fade just a bit.  It doesn't magically make it all clear, but it brings peace in the storm, giving me strength to endure just one more day of more questions than answers.